you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
