Whatcha textin bout Willis?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
