My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
