dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
