it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
