I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You're a waste of cheezeits
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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