would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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