I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize