I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
