Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize