New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
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