Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
