Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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