I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
