u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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