But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
well you can't waste a boner
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
