Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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