So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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