shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize