SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
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i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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