i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
