You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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