I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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