no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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