How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
