I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
