she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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