just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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