It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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