You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize