Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
