yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
