I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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