you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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