I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize