i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dicks are not precious.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
