Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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