At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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