I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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