Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
my liver is dry heaving
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
