While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
