Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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