did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
