I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
