is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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