you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
