Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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