I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
