We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
