She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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