He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
