I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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