I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
