dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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