HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
