woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize