Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
