Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
