What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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