I need help removing her.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
