I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
