Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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