i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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