You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So. Much. Porn.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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