i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
