i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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