dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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