dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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